She Brought Us Happiness

Daixi left us at around 0100 hours today. She returned from the vet on Saturday. On Saturday, she ate a little. But in the following days, she stopped eating. Today, she vomited blood at the shelter. We sent her back to the vet this evening. And just a few minutes ago, she passed away.

Daixi has always stayed out of the limelight. She happily goes about her business along with Daixin. The number of pictures we have of her,  looking happy and healthy, are measly. It is our greatest regret that we failed to capture more of her during those better days, when the future held boundless possibilities and everything was bright and cheery.

Daixi and Daixin were strays rescued off the streets when they were just puppies. They spent most of their lives at the shelter. In the past, when Daixi was still active and vibrant, the two sisters formed the tag team. They would join forces and bully other dogs and we would often chide them for it. Daixi used to bully Dior and I remember Wee laughing and remarking that that was probably because Daixi was mad that Dior looked so much like her, even though they were not the least bit related.

I mentioned this before and now I must mention it again. Daixi and Daixin were a joy to walk together. They didn't hurry, didn't tug and they trotted along right beside you. Daixi was a jumper though. When you walked into her compound, she would jump about in excitement, her paws clinging on to your waist. Daixi also had the cutest ears. If you look closely, you'll realise one ear droops down but the other sticks up. Those funny ears make her look perpetually thoughtful.

 The sisters. What a pair they were.  

I'm trying in vain to recall every single moment I had with Daixi because with so few pictures, I guess words are the next best option to collect those precious memories of her.

 Daixi on one of the earliest Furry Days, when cancer was still a thing far far away.

For the past month, Daixi became a pale shadow of who she once was. She would stay in her metal cage for hours on end. And she just kept losing weight. There was a period of time when she was losing weight but her spirits were still up. She still looked forward to walks and furry days. But you could tell that the aggression and that little bit of fire she had in her eyes were no longer there. On hindsight, it all seems so clear. Why hadn't we done something earlier?

 Daixi, discharged from the vet last Saturday.

Daixi's death may not affect you guys as Dollar's did because unlike Dollar, many of you out there might not have gotten to know the fantastic furkid that Daixi was. But just like Dollar's death, Daixi's passing is painful. We watched her whittle away, watched her death slowly play out as she stopped playing, stopped running, stopped eating and finally stopped breathing. We apologise for being the bearer of bad news time and again.

 Daixi, at the vet, a few hours before she passed on.

It seems like the shelter has been blanketed by an atmosphere of death and sorrow the past few weeks. It is so easy to let fatigue and disillusionment set in. We can't help but ask ourselves... Are we doing enough for our dogs? Why does it seem like we're unable to protect them from premature deaths? We try our utmost to improve the conditions of the shelter, to provide food, human company, medical care and in the process build whatever kind of home we can for the furkids. But it just doesn't seem enough.

I guess the heart of the matter is... nothing can replace the goodness of a real home. With real humans to call their own. With clean, sanitary conditions. With adequate food and clean water in their drinking bowls. Somewhere where the rats, grime and dirt can no longer harm them. Our dogs are crying out for a home. Can you open your heart and your home to them?

We are extremely worried about the rest of the dogs. Many of them seem to be unwell and there is just so much we can do.  Dillon has been looking listless and inactive the past five days, something that is a bolt from the blue, seeing as he is usually happily tussling with Daelle. DDD who usually loves food has not been eating properly and he is no longer interested in his favourite game of tug of war. Poker is exceedingly skinny and continues to grow skinnier no matter what we feed her. A checkup at the vet tells us she is in perfect condition but how can she be when she's whittled down to nothing but skin and bones? Buddy our old man at the shelter has been looking skinnier and more easily tired.

Times are hard and we really do need your help. We've set up the SOS fund, so if you're able to help us financially, please drop us an email. Otherwise, perhaps you would like to come down on weekends to visit the dogs. The past few weeks have taught us to appreciate every little moment we have with them, because we never ever know what the future holds. We apologise for having to turn to you guys time and again. We always try to hang in there until we really need help. And now's the time that we do. We extend our heartfelt gratitude to one and all who have helped us in one way or another. You help to keep Gentle Paws going.

This is how she is supposed to look - happy and contented.

My apologies for the long entry. I guess Daixi's death shook me a little. I had expected her to hold on a little longer. I had planned to drop by the vet tomorrow. But I guess the pain was just too much for her frail weakened body to bear. Cancer is really terrible.

Goodbye Daixi. Do you see Dollar where you are? I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye for the last time, to rub your funny ears and give you a kiss on the forehead for good luck. Just so you know, you really lived up to your name because you brought us all the happiness in the world. Goodnight darling, you'll be in our thoughts always.