She Brought Us Happiness

Daixi left us at around 0100 hours today. She returned from the vet on Saturday. On Saturday, she ate a little. But in the following days, she stopped eating. Today, she vomited blood at the shelter. We sent her back to the vet this evening. And just a few minutes ago, she passed away.

Daixi has always stayed out of the limelight. She happily goes about her business along with Daixin. The number of pictures we have of her,  looking happy and healthy, are measly. It is our greatest regret that we failed to capture more of her during those better days, when the future held boundless possibilities and everything was bright and cheery.

Daixi and Daixin were strays rescued off the streets when they were just puppies. They spent most of their lives at the shelter. In the past, when Daixi was still active and vibrant, the two sisters formed the tag team. They would join forces and bully other dogs and we would often chide them for it. Daixi used to bully Dior and I remember Wee laughing and remarking that that was probably because Daixi was mad that Dior looked so much like her, even though they were not the least bit related.

I mentioned this before and now I must mention it again. Daixi and Daixin were a joy to walk together. They didn't hurry, didn't tug and they trotted along right beside you. Daixi was a jumper though. When you walked into her compound, she would jump about in excitement, her paws clinging on to your waist. Daixi also had the cutest ears. If you look closely, you'll realise one ear droops down but the other sticks up. Those funny ears make her look perpetually thoughtful.

 The sisters. What a pair they were.  

I'm trying in vain to recall every single moment I had with Daixi because with so few pictures, I guess words are the next best option to collect those precious memories of her.

 Daixi on one of the earliest Furry Days, when cancer was still a thing far far away.

For the past month, Daixi became a pale shadow of who she once was. She would stay in her metal cage for hours on end. And she just kept losing weight. There was a period of time when she was losing weight but her spirits were still up. She still looked forward to walks and furry days. But you could tell that the aggression and that little bit of fire she had in her eyes were no longer there. On hindsight, it all seems so clear. Why hadn't we done something earlier?

 Daixi, discharged from the vet last Saturday.

Daixi's death may not affect you guys as Dollar's did because unlike Dollar, many of you out there might not have gotten to know the fantastic furkid that Daixi was. But just like Dollar's death, Daixi's passing is painful. We watched her whittle away, watched her death slowly play out as she stopped playing, stopped running, stopped eating and finally stopped breathing. We apologise for being the bearer of bad news time and again.

 Daixi, at the vet, a few hours before she passed on.

It seems like the shelter has been blanketed by an atmosphere of death and sorrow the past few weeks. It is so easy to let fatigue and disillusionment set in. We can't help but ask ourselves... Are we doing enough for our dogs? Why does it seem like we're unable to protect them from premature deaths? We try our utmost to improve the conditions of the shelter, to provide food, human company, medical care and in the process build whatever kind of home we can for the furkids. But it just doesn't seem enough.

I guess the heart of the matter is... nothing can replace the goodness of a real home. With real humans to call their own. With clean, sanitary conditions. With adequate food and clean water in their drinking bowls. Somewhere where the rats, grime and dirt can no longer harm them. Our dogs are crying out for a home. Can you open your heart and your home to them?

We are extremely worried about the rest of the dogs. Many of them seem to be unwell and there is just so much we can do.  Dillon has been looking listless and inactive the past five days, something that is a bolt from the blue, seeing as he is usually happily tussling with Daelle. DDD who usually loves food has not been eating properly and he is no longer interested in his favourite game of tug of war. Poker is exceedingly skinny and continues to grow skinnier no matter what we feed her. A checkup at the vet tells us she is in perfect condition but how can she be when she's whittled down to nothing but skin and bones? Buddy our old man at the shelter has been looking skinnier and more easily tired.

Times are hard and we really do need your help. We've set up the SOS fund, so if you're able to help us financially, please drop us an email. Otherwise, perhaps you would like to come down on weekends to visit the dogs. The past few weeks have taught us to appreciate every little moment we have with them, because we never ever know what the future holds. We apologise for having to turn to you guys time and again. We always try to hang in there until we really need help. And now's the time that we do. We extend our heartfelt gratitude to one and all who have helped us in one way or another. You help to keep Gentle Paws going.

This is how she is supposed to look - happy and contented.

My apologies for the long entry. I guess Daixi's death shook me a little. I had expected her to hold on a little longer. I had planned to drop by the vet tomorrow. But I guess the pain was just too much for her frail weakened body to bear. Cancer is really terrible.

Goodbye Daixi. Do you see Dollar where you are? I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye for the last time, to rub your funny ears and give you a kiss on the forehead for good luck. Just so you know, you really lived up to your name because you brought us all the happiness in the world. Goodnight darling, you'll be in our thoughts always.

The Sick List

Following Dollar's death, we were worried sick that we might be unaware of deadly ailments creeping up on our other dogs. We got a vet to come down to the shelter to check on the dogs, draw some blood and run some tests. Much to our dismay, more bad news followed.

Daixi has been warded for signs of kidney failure - the exact same thing that Dollar suffered. She was rapidly losing weight, not eating and she simply didn't seem as energetic as before. Many of you might not know Daixi well. Being housed in one of the sections furthest away from the entrance, Daixi forms part of the group of forgotten dogs.

This girl, whose name means 'bring happiness' in Mandarin, is a big kisser. In her more active days, she would jump around you excitement when you enter the compound and try to lick your face. If ever you want a dog that is easy to walk, Daixi is your pick.

They say that dogs of the same gender often don't get along. But Daixi and her sister Daixin share a rare closeness between dogs that is seldom seen in the shelter. There are so many things to learn about Daixi if only people spare the time to get to know her. We hope it isn't too late. Daixi is currently warded at the vet's. Should you be interested in dropping by to pay her a visit, you can email us at farmwaylove@gmail.com.

Doris is another dog on the list of sick dogs we had to pay extra attention too. We were really worried about our lab retriever after the passing of her best friend Dollar. Out of the 4 breeder dogs that were rescued - Dime, Dollar, Doris and Xena - Doris is literally the last one standing.

A closer examination by the vet revealed that Doris has zero platelet count. This means that her blood is unable to clot and any injury, however slight, will cause a massive loss of blood. This is potentially dangerous and life threatening. Needing medication thrice daily, we could not provide the care Doris needs at the shelter. Though we couldn't bear to, it didn't take much for us to decide to allow Doris to be fostered at a kind volunteer's place. Doris spent her first night at her fosterer's place last night. We are especially anxious about her progress because she is known to have separation anxiety when away from the shelter for too long a time. With her happy, clumsy nature, Doris is a perennial favourite of volunteers young and old. So not to worry, we'll keep you updated about her progress and on any visits we plan to pay her at her fosterer's place.

It's a tough time for Gentle Paws. It is heart wrenching to see our dogs fall sick one by one. We are doing our best to up our vigilance and seek prevention over cure. With a lack of funds, there is a limit to how much we can do to improve the condition of the shelter to fight deadly diseases that are hurting our dogs. But we're working on it. We're trying to put together a timetable to disinfect the shelter at least once a week to provide the furkids with a cleaner, healthier environment to call home.

Forever and Always, Dollar

I'm sorry to inform you that Dollar left us this afternoon at around 3:50PM. She had been suffering from chronic kidney failure, a disease with no symptoms until it reaches its final stages. For the past 4 days, Dollar stopped eating. Yesterday, we sent her to the vet. And today, she is gone.

I hate writing eulogies. They remind me that someone dearly beloved is forever gone. They remind me that when I reach out to hold them, they're no longer going to be there. They remind me that what we have left are but distant memories.

I hate writing eulogies.

So what I am going to write tonight is a story of triumph and love.

Tonight, I am going to write about Dollar.

We don't know how old Dollar really is. We guess she might be around 7 or 8. She came to us when Wee received a call from some workers one day, asking if he was willing to accept 4 breeder dogs that they were told to "throw away". The four were Dime, Dollar, Doris and Xena. You've probably never heard of Dime. She's Dollar's fellow golden retriever and she was the first of the lot to go.

That was around 4 years ago. Over the next 4 years, Dollar recovered beautifully. Some dogs hate the shelter, especially dogs who had been abandoned by their owners. Having tasted the wonders of home life, they know that the shelter is nothing in comparison. At the shelter, they get fed just once daily. Humans only clear overnight poop the next afternoon. There were so many other fierce dogs on the other side of the fence. They would then cry, whine and wish they were anywhere but the shelter.

Ironically for Dollar, she didn't want to be anywhere else but here, with us, at Gentle Paws. She knew she was safe at the shelter. She knew she was loved. She liked the familiar smells, the familiar faces and the familiar routines. Many times over, she obstinately chose the shelter over adoption, refusing to bond with her potential adopters, running away back to the shelter the moment she had the chance to. It was as if she was telling us, I'm happy where I am, don't make me go.

And so Dollar stayed with us right till the end. As she took her final breath, she was surrounded by people who loved her. She heard the voices of heartbroken volunteers who scrambled to give her parting words over the phone. She was held in the arms of Wee, the very man who saved her from the throes of death all those years ago and the very same man she loved with all her heart since then.

Dollar lived through adversity in the first half of her life. But hers isn't a tale of sorrow and pain. Hers is a story of triumphing over the worst hand life can deal her and coming out a big winner.

Goodbye Dollar, goodnight. Don't feel lonely. You're gone, but you'll always be with us somehow... in our hearts and in our minds. We'll see you on the other side pretty girl.

Dollar will be cremated tomorrow and her remains will be housed with Wee. Any where Wee goes, we're sure Dollar will want to as well.

On Bobby

Just a quick update. Bobby's operation was aborted shortly after it started. It was found that Bobby's valves were blocked to the extent that the vet's forceps could not be inserted to remove the heart worms as planned. Instead, the vet tapped Bobby's abdomen and drained over 10 litres of fluid from him. Bobby has to be on heart worm medicine for the rest of his life. He also has to undergo the draining process twice a week. His kidney was found to be weak and he will require kidney supplements. The next three weeks will be crucial for Bobby. A kind volunteer has agreed to foster Bobby for this critical period. We hope to bring you good news the next time round!

Go Bobby!

Goodbye Xena

Xena was found unconscious at Gentle Paws this morning. Despite performing CPR on her and rushing her to the vet, Xena eventually left us today evening.

As one of our volunteers, Florence, so eloquently put it, she came back to her friends after 10 hard months. It was her way of saying goodbye.

I'm sure anyone of you who have been down to the shelter would agree whole-heartedly that despite what she'd been through, Xena is without a doubt one of the gentlest, sweetest and happiest dog you could ever find. No matter how you try to knock her down, there she comes back with a big smile on her face.

Despite what us humans put her through - breeding her, tying her to the lamp post, leaving her out in the rain - she never lost her faith in us.

So... Goodbye our dearest Xena. We are already missing you. We hope you've been released from your suffering and that you're in a much better place right now. You're tiny for a dog. But with your great spirit and big heart, you made a whole lot of difference in our lives.

Health Matters

Today, we are going to talk about health.

When you or I get sick, we feel horrible. And then we make a trip to the doctor's. It is an automatic mental jump. We don't have to think twice about it. When our pet gets sick, however, we hesitate a little. This could be due to high veterinary costs or the time and effort involved in transporting the pet. But we eventually bring the poor dog to see the vet because we can't bear to see it so miserable. After all, it's our pet and we love it.

Now when a shelter dog gets sick, it seems like the idea of bringing it to see the vet becomes a little ludicrous. Shelters are supposed to work on tight financial budgets. Between rent, food and other medical costs (such as sterilisation and vaccination costs), shelters cannot afford to be racking up exorbitant veterinary fees. In many shelters around the world, dogs that fail to get adopted after a suitable period of time are euthanised. This is the supposed "cure-all" solution that saves on food, shelter and medical costs all at once.

But that's not how we work. As we have often reiterated, shelter dogs are not second class citizens. They didn't ask to be a shelter dog. By some twist of fate, they were born just a little unluckier than their counterparts with good homes and great owners. Since we've taken our dogs into our shelter with open arms, we are going to do all we can to provide some sort of a home for them. Not the best, certainly, but the best that we can give. That includes making allowance for visits to the vet and chalking up the requisite expenses from the consultations. After all, isn't this what responsible rescuing is all about?

Recently at Gentle Paws, we've had an alarming spate of health issues befall us. It has been a rough time for us because, essential as it is, going to the vet costs. 

First, we have Deckie, our furry orange boy who seems to prefer humans to dogs. Deckie has been warded at the vet's for some time now. He was bitten on the ear by another dog at the shelter. The infection of that wound triggered his autoimmune disease, causing his cells to attack healthy tissue and his muscle to detach from his skin. Deckie had to undergo a couple of surgeries to fix the damage wrought on his body. But it appears that he is now well on the road to recovery. Because he is terrified of the other shelter dogs, the shelter is no place for rest and recovery. Deckie has to stay at the vet's until his condition stablises, whereupon one of our volunteers would bring him back home.

Next, we have Diya (below right), one of Dior's three lovely daughters (the other two being Donna and Dyana). Besides Donna, the liveliest and most active of the three, people tend to overlook the other two. If you take the time to get to know them, you'll find that Diya and Dyana are two of the most loving girls at the shelter. When you make soft pitiful whining sounds as I've been taught to do, they will walk towards you, cock their head, look at you, then proceed to lick your face quite tenderly.

Diya was one of the few dogs we have yet to sterilise. Last week, we decided to bring both her and DakDakDei for the procedure and bid goodbye forever to any unwanted pregnancies. Little did we expect the trip to be a futile one. The procedure could not be administered to our dogs because blood tests revealed that they were tick fever carriers. While DDD could be discharged, Diya had to undergo a blood transfusion and was hospitalised for a day. Both dogs have to be put on a special diet and would have to head back to the vet for another review after a month. If you see Diya looking a little listless, do stop by to give her a pat on the head. She is barely even 2 years old and she needs all the love she can get.

Next we have Bobby, our oldest citizen at Gentle Paws. He used to be fierce and a little aggressive but oh how he has mellowed over the past two years. Just ask the volunteers who have been down for our PAW program lately... Bobby is one of the easiest dogs to handle and a joy to walk. But lately, he is easily tired. To add on, he has not been eating and his stomach has grown increasingly bloated. Could it be his kidney? Or what about his liver? Worried, we sent him for a full body check-up. This set us back by about $600  but did not reveal anything abnormal with our dog. Meanwhile, we can only keep our fingers crossed and keep close tabs on his condition.

Moving on, we have Darwin. Darwin is a boarding dog. This means that his rescuer pays for his lodging at our shelter each month. He was once a stray roaming the streets and he was absolutely terrified when he first arrived.

One look at Darwin and you'll realise that his bones protrude and his posture isn't like that of a normal dog's. A visit to the vet revealed that indeed, Darwin is no normal dog. He is a miracle dog. According to the vet, Darwin completely dislocated his right hip when he was younger. This means that his hip joint was entirely displaced from its socket. This could be due to a bad accident on the road or a nasty fall, we will never know. But because dislocation took place when he was still young, his body miraculously formed another socket for the displaced joint. Darwin has now got to undergo an operation to remove this extra portion from his anatomy because the pain is causing him to hunch quite a bit. Post operation, Darwin will be able to lead a normal life aside from a slight hop or limp when he walks.

Finally, a complete shocker we received in the past week has to do with our pretty miniature bull terrier you have heard so much about lately - Xena.

We thought that the worst was over for her but a few days after Furry Day, we received a call from the vet with some very bad news. Turns out that, the full body check-up that Xena underwent earlier revealed an enlargement and even hardening of her lymph nodes. There was also some bleeding in her abdomen. Lymphoma or cancer of the lymph nodes was highly suspected.

Just so you know, lymph nodes are small, circular organs found throughout our body and are used as filters to trap foreign particles. They form an essential part of our immune system. Whether lymphoma is treatable or not depends on the type and stage of the disease. Following the vet's advice, we have sent Xena's samples and biopsy to the US to be tested. This will take about 10 days and we are now currently still waiting anxiously for the results. We have also arranged for a potential foster home for Xena because the safe haven of a real home is critical to her recovery.

We didn't see this coming at all. No amount of planning prepared us for a cancer stricken dog. Treatment is going to cost. Each session of chemotherapy is going to cost $500. The chemo protocol is approximately 25 weeks long, so the complete treatment is going to cost us $12,500. This is a whopping sum of money. No, strike that. This is a completely scary sum of money. But you know what? If the vet advises that Xena undergo treatment, we are going to go along with it.

$12,500 sounds overwhelming, but we are going to take things one step at a time. $500 a week isn't so bad. There might be a lot of critics out there who violently object to our choice to treat cancer. But you must understand. Xena came back to us after 10 long months. Silly as this may sound, isn't this fate? We cannot leave her in the lurch now and not try.

Perhaps the lab test will come back negative. Perhaps our worries will be for naught. But we need to plan and we need to prepare. Should the worst come true for us, it will be a long battle ahead. If we set up a Xena fund, would you help?

Where our expenses are routine and predictable, we can act to deal with them. We take in dogs on boarding basis to supplement the rent. We scout around for pet food manufacturers for food nearing expiry and are no longer for sale. We launch the Sponsor-a-Dog program to help prop us up a little.

What sucks the most and hits us the hardest is when we can't predict. Because when we cannot predict, we cannot plan. Such health matters are a good example of what we face every month. Some months are better than others. This particular month doesn't look too good. But we're waiting with bated breath, still carrying out the hope that maybe Xena's case is nothing but one big fat false alarm. Let's keep our fingers crossed...